Hello. You seem confused and frightened. That's normal! All vampires are confused when they first become vampires! You will fit right in with the rest of the vampires!
My name is Cerealwart, and I run this school where I teach vampires how to be vampires. You will learn how to use your vampire powers and make amazing friends while you're here! You might even get to have some, heh, 'fun' with your fellow students.
What's your name? That's a silly question! Your name is Soggy.
Are you ready for your first day of being a vampire, Soggy? I promise that you will enjoy yourself very much. We have a special surprise for you on your first day, and I even have a lunch prepared for you for after class. I would feel insulted if you didn't indulge me, and when I feel insulted... Let's just say that bad things happen.
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